You’ve just fed your baby, changed their diaper, and handed them to Dad so you can finally take a shower. A few moments later, the crying starts.
Dad tries rocking, walking, and talking. Nothing seems to work. But as soon as the baby comes back to Mom, they settle.
It can leave both parents frustrated and Dad wondering, “Why doesn’t my baby like me?”
Crying with Dad does not mean your newborn dislikes him or that he’s doing something wrong. Babies cry to communicate, and learning how to comfort them takes practice. Here’s how to make those moments easier.
Why might a newborn cry more with Dad?
There isn’t one explanation for every baby. Start by looking at what was happening before the handoff.
Your baby may still be hungry. If Mom is breastfeeding, being close to her may signal another opportunity to feed. A baby who is rooting or bringing their hands to their mouth may need milk rather than a different soothing technique.
The timing may be difficult. If Dad usually takes over during evening fussiness or after a long stretch awake, he may be getting the hardest part of the day.
The change may be unsettling. Moving from one person’s arms to another changes the position, movement, voice, and contact your baby is experiencing.
Dad and baby are still learning each other. Comforting a newborn is a skill that develops through everyday care. Dad needs opportunities to discover what works for them together.
1. Start with calm moments
Try spending time together before your baby is hungry, overtired, or already upset.
After a feed and diaper change, Dad can hold the baby, talk softly, or sit nearby during a quiet, alert period. These small moments give them time together without the pressure of stopping tears.
Dad does not have to wait until the baby needs rescuing to become involved.
2. Check the basics before changing techniques
When your newborn cries, work through a simple checklist:
Are they showing hunger cues?
Is their diaper wet or dirty?
Could they be too warm or too cold?
Do they need a burping break?
Has the room become bright, noisy, or busy?
Might they be ready for sleep?
Crying is communication. Looking for the need behind it can be more useful than trying several new tricks at once.
3. Keep soothing simple
Try holding your baby securely with their head and neck supported, then gently rocking or walking while speaking in a soft voice.
If the room is busy, move somewhere quieter. Give one approach a little time rather than switching positions every few seconds.
The goal is to offer steady comfort while watching how your baby responds. There is no need to force a particular technique if your baby seems uncomfortable.
4. Make everyday care part of bonding
Bonding does not require a special activity. Diaper changes, getting dressed, cuddles, and talking all create opportunities to connect.
Dad might choose a few regular routines:
Taking the morning diaper change.
Singing the same song during cuddles.
Handling burping and settling after a feed.
Reading a short book during a calm, awake period.
Fathers can build closeness through consistent care, holding, talking, and soothing, even when they are not feeding the baby.
5. Try skin-to-skin time while fully awake
Skin-to-skin contact can be a lovely way for Dad and baby to spend quiet time together.
Place your diapered baby against Dad’s bare chest, with their head supported, face visible, and nose and mouth clear. Dad should be fully awake and able to watch the baby.
If he becomes sleepy, the baby should move to their own sleep space. Skin-to-skin cuddles are awake bonding time.
Should Mom take the baby back every time?
There is no rule that Dad must keep trying for a set number of minutes.
If your baby needs to feed, respond to that need. If either parent feels overwhelmed, a handoff is completely reasonable.
When the baby’s needs have been checked and Dad feels comfortable continuing, give him room to practice. Mom can share useful observations “She likes a slow walk”, without needing to direct every movement.
The aim is for both parents to develop confidence and understand their baby’s cues.
What if Dad feels rejected?
It can hurt to feel like the parent who cannot settle the baby. Acknowledge that feeling without treating the crying as a judgment.
Try replacing “The baby only wants Mom” with “You’re still getting to know each other.”
A successful moment may be a peaceful diaper change, a few quiet minutes together, or discovering a hold the baby enjoys. Those moments count, too.
Support for both parents
Dad deserves the chance to feel comfortable caring for his newborn, and Mom deserves opportunities to rest.
At The Baby Nurse Specialist, we help parents learn everyday newborn care, recognize their baby’s cues, and feel more confident with feeding, soothing, and settling.
Whether you’re preparing for your baby’s arrival or finding your rhythm at home, explore our newborn care services to learn how we can support your family.